After a visit to the café [Mac]

Subject: After a visit to the café [Mac] Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:57 pm

what happened before?;
____________________________

MAC:

I looked at her while she was leaving and I could not do anything, my muscles did not obey to me any more. I took my head in my hands and leaned against the wall to finally sat. I could not believe what happened. Was she in love with me or not ? She had said I was the thing she loved the most but now she left. What was I suppose to do... ?

I had then an idea... I took my car and drove to her home. I knocked to her door.

-Stella...

No answer.

-I would understand if you didn't want to let me enter so I will say what I have to say from there...

Silence. Actually I did not know if she was there.

-I am sorry about what happened, I should not have reacted like that. I did not want to hurt you... I will never do it again cause I love you and I want your happiness

I put my hand on the door just at the place there was written "S. Bonasera"

-Please forgive me...

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Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:07 pm

I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around my legs, tears streamed down my cheeks. I love him, but I can't love him I just can't. he's my boss, my boss and I can't love my boss.. it would be wrong and not the way it's supposed to be.

suddenly I hear someone knocking on my door. I can't open the door like this... I'm a mess...
Someone starts talking from behind the door! as quiet as possible I walk to the door and listen;

-Stella...
-I would understand if you didn't want to let me enter so I will say what I have to say from there...
-I am sorry about what happened, I should not have reacted like that. I did not want to hurt you... I will never do it again cause I love you and I want your happiness
-Please forgive me...

I have to open the door, I have to talk to him. I try to wipe away as much tears as possible.

Slowly I open the door....

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:15 pm

Suddenly she opened the door. I saw her face. Like on mine there was signs which showed that she had cryed.

-Stella...

But I did not know what to add to what I said before she'd open the door. I was still soaked for I hesitated a long time before enter the building ant for it was still raining outside.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:49 am

Stella pull yourself together don't you dare starting to cry again! you can't love him you know the rules. what did your mentor always say? never start a relationship with your boss or employees, they will always end in big big BIG trouble.

"Mac...I..I..Don't know what to say..."

I really didn’t know what to say
my heart says: let him in and make sure he won't get sick
my head says: tell him to go home

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:59 am

I looked at her looking for answers to my questions.

-Stella... Just answer one question : Do you love me... More than a fiend ?

I didn't pay attention to the fact I was her boss. I was in love with her and that was all. I was ready to fight against Sinclair if it was a need to be happy with Stella. But first I had to know what she felt.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 7:16 am

"Yes I do love you, but... we can't be together....."

it was so hard to tell him that, deep inside I hope he wouldn't take that for an answer.
How can I ever work together with him knowing he loves me and I love him? it would be impossible....
it was already hard loving him without knowing that he loves me, every time he's around me my heart was about to explode, so many feeling went through my body every single time

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 7:21 am

I hit the wall to let go out my angerness instead of hurting her by words. What she told me was worst than if she had not love me. Why was she saying that ? I suddenly understood. I was her boss... And it was me who learnt to her that there could not have relationships between a boss and his employee.

-We cannot ? Do you think that cause of the job ?

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:48 pm

I jump away when Mac hit the wall, it was such a force I'm glad the wall didn't broke down.

"Mac you taught me to don't start a relationship with my boss or employees"

Why was I saying this? I want him so badly.
After all those nights I dreamed of him and now I just can't make myself step to another level with him.

"And I think it would affect our job if we break up, IF we would be together. Mac.... it's such a big risk"

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 8:23 pm

I hang my head. She was perfectly right.

-It was some advice but....

I could not look at her. I wanted to take her in my arms, put my hands into her curled hair, I wanted to kiss her and if I looked at her I was sure I could not prevent myself from doing that anymore.

-Stell' don't you think that this risk can be taken... ? We could be so happy together...

By the way our relationship won't be the same any more now that I learnt she felt the same way as I do.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 8:40 pm

A tear rolled down my cheek. Mac had stepped in my apartment while talking, I walked around him and closed the door. I lean with my back to the door not knowing what to say. Another tear rolled down my cheek, into my neck.

why is love always so complicated? why can't my just have a normal life?

"M...Mac... I don't know.." I said while looking at the floor, I couldn't look at him I just couldn't

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 8:52 pm

After having stepped in her appartment I looked at her. She was lookking to the floor. I saw tears on her cheeks. With some hesitation I cupped her face and with a finger I wiped a tear from her cheek.

-There could be a solution... I could stop to work... You... You are more important...

I know she would certainly disagree for everybody knows that I love my job... But if I have to choose between both, I mean my job and her, I choose her !

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:04 pm

As he touched my cold, wet skin I froze and started to shake, more tears rolled down my cheek. I wanted to hold him tight so badly but something held me back.

after what he said I came in a bigger shock, he wanted to quit working for me?

"Mac...You know that's no solution, You love your job more than any.....anything..."

My legs started to feel like spaghetti, it was hard for me to stand up straight. Lucky I lean against the door which helps me to say on my legs

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:38 pm

She began to cry more and more. I did not know what to do.

-Stella, there is one thing I love more than my work : that's you ! And I would do everything I can to make you happy. And I don't think staying friends whereas we both know that we love each other is a good idea...

I looked at her.

-Even if I am your boss... It would be more difficult to go on working while I know you love me but you do not want a relationship...

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:46 pm

I bite on my lip, How can I act like this while I want him so much? I start to lose myself...

I lay my hand on his perfectly shaved cheek, He's wet and cold, I don't want him to be cold...

"Mac...I euhh... Let me find you a towel, otherwise you get sick"

I try to avoid the subject I have no idea how to deal with it, I walk to the bathroom and open the drawer to find a towel for Mac.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:56 pm

I looked at her going to bring back a towel. She was so beautiful. When she came back I just took the towel and whispered :

-Thanks.

Oh God I wanted her so much. I was wondering how I was still keeping the control of myself.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:11 pm

his cloths are wet, how can I fix this? I don't want him to go home in wet cloths he will get sick.

"Mac, you can shower and hang out your cloths till they are dry. In the mean time you can use my bathrobe, you aren't much taller so I guess it will do"
I offer, actually I really really hope he stays!

Please stay Mac, please! I beg in myself for something he probably won't accept after not replying to the topic 'together'

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:21 pm

I looked to Stella surprised.

-Stell' What game are you playing ? You let me use your bathroom, your bathrobe... I know that these are things friends do to each other but...

I looked her green eyes.

-Just think about it while I take a shower. I would appreciate if I could have answers to my questions about "us"

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:29 pm

"I'm not playing a game Mac, really!"

I say while I look into his beautiful eyes and fight back my tears.

"and yes I'll think about it while you shower"

It really surprise me that he stays.
I sigh from relieve, I still have some minutes left to make my head clear and think about the answers I have to give.
although I already know what to say.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:38 pm

I went to the bathroom. I took my time to take a shower. I wanted to let her enough time to think. 15 minutes after I was wearing her bathrobe. I came back to the living-room with my clothes. I put them somewhere they could become dry again. I looked at Stella but said nothing. I decided to wait she begin to speak.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:53 am

He left to the bathroom and I walk to the couch and sit down, waiting for him to come back. It feels really weird to have Mac in my home, of course he has been here before, but not like this. we both had mixed feeling and what if he didn't liked my answers?

I totally lost the time when he came, went to the shower. I guess he it all happened in half an hour maybe more maybe less
I sigh as I hear the bathroom door, It was time for me to say something...

"Mac...I thought about what you said and I think we should try....But if you don't mind I want to take baby steps. Actually we weren't even dating and well I would appreciate it if we do after all, to see if it works out between us."

I have been looking at Mac while I spoke but now i said what i wanted to say I looked through the window, It's snowing. It wasn't even supposed to snow today, hmmm weird. I thought while I still tried to make my head clear.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:01 am

I thought my heart was going to explode. She wanted to try. I was not sure to completely understand her "baby steps"... : Was I allowed to kiss her. I was not sure so to do not hut her I prevent myself from following my desisres. I has no doubts about us but she was right. Begin slowly was a good point for a really happy love story. I smiled to her.

-Do you mean... You would enjoy a date in a restaurant tomorrow evening for example ?

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:15 am

My heart skipped a beat as he smiled at me, he's so cute.

"Yeah that exactly what I mean"

Please don't let it be an example and ask me out, I hope while I smile back at him.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:21 am

She smiled to me. I sat down on the couch and I softly took her hand.

-So I guess we can go out tomorrow after job, we could go to this Argentine restaurant...

I was waiting for her answer. About kissing her, I was still hesitating.

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:26 am

again I have to smile. he took my hand, his hands feel so warm and mine so wasn't, a little bit warmth felt good.

"I would love to, Mac"

Subject: Re: After a visit to the café [Mac] Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:32 am

-So 7 pm tomorrow, I will wait for you in my office and we will go together.

Her hand was cold. I did my best to make it become warmer. Finally I pressed my lips againt her hand to try to give to her warmth from my body.

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