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 Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)

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Lindsay Monroe
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Thu May 12, 2011 5:54 pm

i just bathed Lucy and walked back into the living room. I saw Danny staring.. I knew that meant he was deep in thought. I knew in what moods he was, how he hated to be like this. Why it had to be him in the wheelchair. He said he didn't need all the help all the time, and that he could do it on his own... But i knew better, i knew he did need help, his ego just didn't.

"you okay, babe?" i asked him carefully, hoping he wouldn't snap at me. I just couldn't help myself but ask him that all the time.. Maybe that was wrong from my side, but i was so worried about him, and i knew that sometimes he just wouldn't ask for my help even though he needed it. I knew he was just in thought right now, but i just wanted to make sure he was okay, if he replied then.

I waited on him with Lucy, i knew he liked to put her to bed. Even though it was a bit hard for him, i still knew he would go through that 'pain' to do it. To be a father and but his baby girl in her bed, and i loved watching that scene, being there if things would go wrong. Just seeing him and Lucy smiling happily, saying goodnight to each other. Just Perfect, in it's way, our perfect little family that had gone through so much already.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Thu May 12, 2011 8:42 pm

He still didn't look at me.. but after a while he finally replied, telling me he was fine. I knew he was not.. i heard it in his voice, but apparently he didn't want me to bugger him with it now..

"Do you want to take her to bed?" i asked, now not looking at him either, but at Lucy who was pulling at a stray of my hair.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 13, 2011 11:55 am

i heard a silent no.. i knew that he was in a bad mood now, so i shouldn't ask him too much, turned around and wanted to walk away.. but i wanted a few seconds and glanced over my shoulder, but he was still staring, thinking.... i sighed deeply and then did walk away, to Lucy's bedroom. In some way i hoped that soon he would drop in.. saying he changed his mind, but i was kinda sure that wouldn't happen tonight...
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 13, 2011 7:18 pm

She went down okay.. i sang her a song, and she was asleep pretty fast. With her pony cuddle pet, that she loved. She was tired already, so that was a great help.

I walked back into the living room to find Danny in the exact same position as i left him in.. He probably was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear me....

"Babe? Are you sure you're okay?" i tried again...
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 13, 2011 10:14 pm

when i finally saw him shaking his head, i was in someway satisfied that he finally told me the 'truth'... though i was worried now.

"do you want me to do anything for you? Help you with something? Talk to you about something?" i suggested him.. whoa Lindsay.. slow down...
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 13, 2011 11:01 pm

He didn't reply... yet. I think i asked too many things at the same time, maybe that was wrong. Suddenly something else popped into my mind.

"do you need to go to the toilet?" i asked him then.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 13, 2011 11:42 pm

i didn't find the link between 'i am sorry' and going to the toilet. So i wondered for a while.....

"do you have to, or not?" i asked him again.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sat May 14, 2011 12:04 am

"oh...." i said.. maybe being a bit embarrassed about it now. "what's wrong then?" i asked him again, hoping he would tell me. I was getting more worried now.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sat May 14, 2011 12:48 pm

He was sorry about Lucy. and it was okay actually. If he didnt feel for it, then he didn't. I didn't want to push him into anything. I was actually glad if he was honest with me. "it's okay"
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sat May 14, 2011 10:05 pm

"don't worry too much about it, okay? We'll try it again tomorrow. She will be here the rest of our lives, remember that. I won't leave you" i explained to him.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun May 15, 2011 5:51 am

"any time, Danny" i smiled at him. And then came soclose to him, that i only had to bent down to kiss him. And so i did.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun May 15, 2011 1:40 pm

"it's gonna be okay" i whispered to him, since i was still close to him. "I promise we'll get there, even if i have to believe in you all by myself"
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun May 15, 2011 9:43 pm

"then nothing will change, but we're gonna fight to make it happen Danny. We can do this, we can both do this together" i told him, i encouraged him.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun May 15, 2011 10:43 pm

"we're gonna get there" i said again. I never liked him thinking like that, looking at the dark side, instead of the bright side. He was giving up on hope, but i was not. I could hear it in his voice, see it in his actions...
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun May 15, 2011 10:59 pm

I saw he was thinking about it again now. "Why don't we go watch something you like, huh? eat something together?" i suggested. Maybe then he would stop thinking about it for a moment.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Mon May 16, 2011 3:50 pm

i smile, "So then let's make something, or order something, yeah?" i suggested. "You can tell me what you want to eat" i said, with still the same smile.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Mon May 16, 2011 4:36 pm

"You're the one that's hungry right? Is it hungry for something sweet?" i asked him, trying to get into his head, while he was constantly building a wall around him.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Wed May 18, 2011 7:51 pm

"danny you know this won't get any better if you just only think about the bad things.... instead of the good ones... c'mon!" i said, trying again......
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 20, 2011 10:41 pm

i sighed deeply when he again did the same thing.. "you want me to make you something?" i asked him then.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sat May 21, 2011 6:47 pm

With that comment i walked to the fruit bowl and grabbed an apple.. made my way back to him, and handed him the apple, without saying something at all.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun May 22, 2011 3:11 pm

"it's okay Danny.." i said to him, but let out a long sigh... "you have to know that I draw a line with trying, too".
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri May 27, 2011 5:46 pm

"You okay?" i asked him.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:03 pm

"Of course" i simple said. And helped him tugging him in. Getting him comfortable on the bed, so that he could sleep well, making sure his wheelchair wasn't too far from him.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:53 pm

"You're welcome, baby" i said, and gave him a quick kiss.
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PostSubject: Re: Wheelchair youpi (lindsay)   Sun Jun 05, 2011 3:02 pm

I just changed and got in bed.. I didn't say anything, I just stared in front of me.. And before I knew it I could hear Danny's deep and steady breathing.. meaning that he slept.
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